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“You cannot mean that,” I forced out.
“I do,” he held me firm “I love you.”
“No, you don’t understand.”
“I love you.”
“Don’t say that to me!” I screamed pushing his arm away but he just changed his grip; his hand wrapped around my jaw, fingers grazing the neck of my neck. He crowded in close. I’d never been terrified of him but I was now. Preservation kicked in I thrashed against him. Snow dislodged from my cloak, from the rock behind me; melting against my skin. Bjorn had both hands on my face. He was over me now, holding me down, preventing my escape. I brought a knee up, aiming for the groin. His knee blocked and pinned my leg, then his other did the same. “Get off! Get off!” I was screaming, frantic.
“No.”
“Release me!”
“no,” his voice was calm.
“Please!” then I was sobbing. He just held me.
When the wails died down to hitching sobs, gasping breathe I tried again. “Go back to your wife-,“
“No!” he bit out shaking me. He was angry. He came down closer. I closed my eyes in cowardice; unable to bare his eyes seeing me any closer. “Look at me,” he commanded, I shook my head, teeth digging into my lip so hard I started to taste blood. There was a heavy sigh; I felt his weight change, the strength leaving him in a gust of hot air against my cheeks as he sagged down over me. Something soft, smoothing, warm and slightly dry brushed over my lips. I opened my eyes sharply as he pulled away, expression sad, tired and… hopeful. “Ragna,” he said softly, almost a whisper. “Let me love you.”
It was an old argument but maybe if I reminded him of his family he would leave? Then I could be alone to fall apart. Before my mouth even formed the words he hurriedly stopped me. “Before you bring her and my children into this again, let me remind you what I said before. She knows where I am.” He waited for it to sink in.
“Do not do this if you do not mean it,” I pleaded. My hands were now gripping into the wool of his tunic, anchoring myself and maybe him too, if the tremor in his limbs meant anything.
“I mean it, I swear on the gods. I mean it.” He came down pressing his forehead to mine, staying there.
“I don’t- I – you?” my throat closed up stopping anything further from passing my lips.
“From the start Ragna. From the beginning I have loved you but you wouldn’t let me, I beg you,” he lay fully over me then, covering me in his body and his warmth, arms wrapping over my head pulling me to his shoulder, holding me close, not letting go. “Just let me be here, don’t be alone anymore.”
“You mean it? You-,“ I swallowed thickly “love me?”
“Yes.”
“I’m your family?”
“Yes, you are, I want you to be my family. I want to be yours; I want us to be a family. I-,“ here he hesitated. “I want to hold you as a man. I want you to hold me as a woman. I want to know every part of you and you me. I want us to have children. A home, maybe even a goat or too so we can make cheese and goats-milk ale for next yuletide. So don’t leave me.” His voice quivered and something warm and wet touched the skin of my neck, and he began shaking in full, wrapping more tightly around me. “Do not go to Valhalla yet, I know you have planned to. I know you have. Please, stay with me.” He cried.
My hands wrapped around his head. How could I? How could I refuse him, I’d denied myself for so long and now I was tired. I supposed I should have been surprised by how quickly I surrendered. I couldn’t even summon a scathing thought; I was tired, bone tired. It felt good to let go.
I hugged him back and he whimpered into my neck trying to crawl even closer. I held him tighter. I looked up at the white sky; flakes of snow were fluttering down once more. It was impossibly easy (unbelievably so) to say what I said next. It changed everything; I didn’t feel so assured of my innermost foundations now. Bjorn had come and taken an axe straight to them, then burned them down I felt them go as quickly as a hay barn went to flame. The rage, the familiar pain seemed to be seeping out of me, like the melting snow as it touched my skin. We were a small family but we would be together, for this yuletide and the next.
“I shall stay.”
End
Previous article:
I came here to be alone 1 of 2 (3 years ago)
About the game:
USA as a world power? In E-Sim it is possible!
In E-Sim we have a huge, living world, which is a mirror copy of the Earth. Well, maybe not completely mirrored, because the balance of power in this virtual world looks a bit different than in real life. In E-Sim, USA does not have to be a world superpower, It can be efficiently managed as a much smaller country that has entrepreneurial citizens that support it's foundation. Everything depends on the players themselves and how they decide to shape the political map of the game.
Work for the good of your country and see it rise to an empire.
Activities in this game are divided into several modules. First is the economy as a citizen in a country of your choice you must work to earn money, which you will get to spend for example, on food or purchase of weapons which are critical for your progress as a fighter. You will work in either private companies which are owned by players or government companies which are owned by the state. After progressing in the game you will finally get the opportunity to set up your own business and hire other players. If it prospers, we can even change it into a joint-stock company and enter the stock market and get even more money in this way.
In E-Sim, international wars are nothing out of the ordinary.
Become an influential politician.
The second module is a politics. Just like in real life politics in E-Sim are an extremely powerful tool that can be used for your own purposes. From time to time there are elections in the game in which you will not only vote, but also have the ability to run for the head of the party you're in. You can also apply for congress, where once elected you will be given the right to vote on laws proposed by your fellow congress members or your president and propose laws yourself. Voting on laws is important for your country as it can shape the lives of those around you. You can also try to become the head of a given party, and even take part in presidential elections and decide on the shape of the foreign policy of a given state (for example, who to declare war on). Career in politics is obviously not easy and in order to succeed in it, you have to have a good plan and compete for the votes of voters.
You can go bankrupt or become a rich man while playing the stock market.
The international war.
The last and probably the most important module is military. In E-Sim, countries are constantly fighting each other for control over territories which in return grant them access to more valuable raw materials. For this purpose, they form alliances, they fight international wars, but they also have to deal with, for example, uprisings in conquered countries or civil wars, which may explode on their territory. You can also take part in these clashes, although you are also given the opportunity to lead a life as a pacifist who focuses on other activities in the game (for example, running a successful newspaper or selling products).
At the auction you can sell or buy your dream inventory.
E-Sim is a unique browser game. It's creators ensured realistic representation of the mechanisms present in the real world and gave all power to the players who shape the image of the virtual Earth according to their own. So come and join them and help your country achieve its full potential.
Invest, produce and sell - be an entrepreneur in E-Sim.
Take part in numerous events for the E-Sim community.
